Since when did we Cheeseheads care so much about hockey?
You know, that Canadian sport where grown men get to fight each other, nobody scores and nobody can even see the ball (puck)?
The sport that tries desperately year after year to become relevant in this state and throughout this country for that matter, but keeps coming in a distant fourth to the National Football League, Major League Baseball and the National Basketball Association.
The same sport you and your family never played growing up, and the one nobody you know played ever in their lives.
Yes, hockey keeps trying to turn into something worth our time, but it’s disguising itself in a quasi-local team known as the Chicago Blackhawks.
Any red-blooded, sports-loving, God-fearing Wisconsinite cheers and screams for their Green Bay Packers, Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, Wisconsin Badgers and Marquette Golden Eagles.
Moreover, especially down here in the southern part of the state, people absolutely loathe the sports abominations that are the Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bulls and Chicago White Sox.
Then why are seemingly normal Cheeseheads suddenly becoming Blackhawks fans?
The ‘Hawks won their third Stanley Cup Finals, or world championship for the non-hockey person (I understand there are a lot of you), in six seasons, and Chicago was on fire last night with people packed outside the United Center, in Wrigleyville and all throughout the city.
Die-hard Blackhawks nuts, many of whom only like the team now that they’re good (many didn’t even know the team existed in the 90s and 2000s), were forming mosh pits, holding fake Stanley Cup trophies, drinking and having a merry old time.
For once, I’ll say good for Chicago, everyone deserves to win sometime. Lord knows the Bears, Cubs and Bulls are doomed to infinity and beyond, and that makes my heart smile.
But a funny thing is happening in my bratwurst-filled, cheese curd-laced, Aaron Rodgers-ruled state.
Somehow, Wisconsinites, even though they have the Milwaukee Admirals as a hockey team and have never needed an NHL team because of our beloved pro and college teams, are turning into default Blackhawks fans.
I’ll admit, even I was sipping the Kool-Aid. The ‘Hawks have enjoyed an amazing postseason, and I even conjured up the patience to sit through a couple minutes of a few ‘Hawks playoff games, even though the interest in playoff games is so low that they’re televised on NBC Sports Network, a TV station many of you thankfully don’t have.
Playoff games not on channels 4, 6, 12, 58 or even ESPN or TNT, people. No major networks, except NBC with the Finals, understandably, want hockey because, quite frankly, people don’t watch it.
But in my attempt to be fair and give others a chance (I’m a dad now and am starting to realize it’s not all about me), I decided to appreciate the greatness of the Blackhawks.
I even went as far as to post a Facebook status (which I hope made sense because hockey simply doesn’t) on how nice I thought Patrick Kane’s goal was to clinch the championship Monday night.
Hooray, the Blackhawks, a team I’m apparently “allowed” to root for, won it all.
However, then I made the mistake of checking Facebook and seeing all of friends and supposed Wisconsin sports lifers posting about the Blackhawks.
OK, I get it, we don’t have an NHL team, but people were treating this like the Packers won the Super Bowl or something.
Fair-weather fans invade Milwaukee
The straw that broke the Ramczyk camel’s back was a video inside McGillicuddy’s, a popular bar on Water Street in Milwaukee.
The video showed an actual “Blackhawks bar,” ripe with everyone in Blackhawks jerseys, flat-screen TVs with the game and loud chants and unabashed joy.
I couldn’t help but yell, “Are you kidding me?”
I’m going to go ahead and take an educated guess that more than 60 percent of those people weren’t Blackhawks fans in 2009, the year before the team won its first title in this dynasty.
I doubt that same percentage were from Illinois or ever lived there. In fact, I highly doubt any of them even watched or played the sport of hockey before the recent ‘Hawks run.
Disheartened, I took to social media, Facebook, to bash many of these “bandwagon” fans.
Here was my post, pardon my bitterness, it was purely for your reading enjoyment:
“I now know of three, that’s right THREE, Blackhawks bars in Milwaukee.
“You can’t tell me more than 40 percent of those ‘fans’ in those bars tonight weren’t fair-weather.
“OK, the Blackhawks are great, and it’s cool they won it all.
“But if you’re a Wisconsin lifer and Bucks-Brewers-Packers loyalist, there’s no reason you should be partying all night at the Milwaukee bars in honor of a Chicago team.
“If you weren’t raised a ‘Hawks fan or didn’t ever live in Illinois, really, what are you doing?”
The post has generated 27 comments, many of which are from die-hard Blackhawks fans that can’t stand these bandwagon jumpers.
Sure, profanities were thrown at me from some ‘Hawks fans, but I figured they just won the freaking world title, how mad can they possibly get?
What is your life about?
OK, call me a hater, go ahead. But if you didn’t pay attention to the ‘Hawks before this season or before the first title in 2010, what on Earth were you doing at a Milwaukee bar on a weekday night getting sauced in the name of a Chicago team?
I mean, really, look in the mirror. You are a fair-weather, bandwagon-jumping buffoon, and you have no purpose in the sports fandom world.
Seriously, sell your TV, your cell phone and your computer. Do not attend another Brewers game the rest of the summer.
That is your penance, flat-out, you need time to think about your actions. These are the consequences.
If you have a hockey itch, head to the Bradley Center and watch the Admirals, even though that is very hard because it’s still boring hockey.
A good sports fan exudes loyalty, first and foremost, passion, necessary ignorance and faith in his or her team.
Loyalty is the most important, for sure.
I grew up a Brewers, Bucks, Packers, Badgers and Golden Eagles fan, and I still am going strong at the old age of 33 (Wednesday was my birthday).
I make sure to attend a good 10-15 Brewers games a year, and that includes road trips with my large family. We’re actually visiting my sister Lisa’s family in Kansas City this week and seeing two Brewers-Royals games.
For the last few years, I’ve made it to a Packers game at least once (tickets are $175 and I’m a poor writer), and I even went to a few Bucks games this year after they were the worst team in the league last year.
Oh yeah, the Brewers have the very worst record in baseball this season, and I still am going to plenty of games.
I love my teams, and watching them gives me a nostalgic happiness that brings me back to a simpler time, when mortgages, bills and capitalism didn’t rule my life.
Sports unite us all, and in their simplest form, make us feel like a kid again.
I know, it may seem like I’m dividing us right now, but I can’t help my passion for my teams and my disgust for Chicago sports.
So, congrats to the Blackhawks, I can’t disrespect greatness.
But I’m happy for the fans like my brother-in-law and his cousin, who have been with the ‘Hawks through thick and thin.
As for the lifelong hockey haters that thought it would be cool and trendy to slap on a Toews jersey and join the party in downtown Milwaukee Monday night, I’ll leave you with this:
Do you know a good therapist? With how lost your life probably is, I’m guessing you need one.
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