And the winner is…the Santa Clause

By Jennifer Eisenbart

Editor

With all the kerfuffle over Obamacare in the last year, it seemed only fitting that the winning lie in this year’s Burlington Liars’ Club contest called out the health care woes.

“My new health insurance plan contained so many clauses that Santa is considering suing for defamation of character!” wrote Daryl Lockwood, the winner from Waupaca.

Joel Weis thought the lie fit in well with the general discontent with health care.

“I thought it was appropriate,” Weis said. Lockwood  could not be reached for comment.

The winning lie was announced later than normal. Generally, the Liars’ Club has the winning lie awarded by Jan. 1.

Keeping the tradition of the club, Weis offered an explanation.

“We had so many entries, we couldn’t get through them all before deadline,” said Weis with a smile. After clarifying that was, in fact, a lie, he said events at the end of the year forced the delay.

Weis said the club received a few hundred entries for this year’s contest, and fellow club member Ed Impens called it the “best year ever.”

The club also awarded five honorable mentions in the contest. They are:

• “I have two dogs. I named them ‘Go Away’ and ‘Nevermind.’ Whenever I call ‘Go Away,’ he disappears. And if I call ‘Nevermind,’ then ‘Go Away’ comes back.”

      – Kevin Duerson, Maple Valley, Washington

• “I knew an old blacksmith and farrier that was so good he could shoe a running horse.”

      – Wayne Everts, Salem

• “I grew up in a family so large and so poor, so my Mother used a pill splitter to divide up a bag of M&M’s and then passed them around.”

      – Rita Schumacher, Colfax

• “It was sooo cold one morning in Plainfield that my neighbor’s dog was froze to my rear tire.”

      – David Poetzel, Plainfield

• “Wisconsin is known for its cheeses. The other day I went to a local cheese mart and picked up some 10-year-old cheddar. It was so sharp it cut my tongue in three places, but was worth it.”

      – David Oldenburg,

Burlington