By Jennifer Eisenbart
Editor
Ryan and Sarah Boylen know perfectly well their situation isn’t unique – or in relation to others, as bad as it could be.
While their adopted 3-year-old son, Gabe, was born with numerous heart defects – as Sarah explains, it’s “very complex” – they both know from stays at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin how much worse it could be.
So when Gary Nelson approached the couple to use this year’s “Tee It Up for Ty” event to raise money for the couple’s elder son, both were hesitant.
“We’ve seen a lot of families who have things far tougher, or bleaker than what we have,” Ryan Boylen said, adding that spending time at Children’s Hospital can be “eye opening, in terms of what you are dealing with.”
But facing an uncertain future with Gabe – who may need more surgeries and likely will never be able to get regular life insurance – the couple ultimately decided to accept the offer.
On Saturday, Gabe even got into the fun a little, going with his father’s golfing group out to one of the holes and trying to rake the sand.
Sarah called the day – which included 18 holes of golf at Browns Lake Golf Course, a dinner at Michael’s on the Lake in Kansasville, and silent auctions and raffles – “overwhelming,” while Ryan called it “humbling.”
“Pretty awesome to see not just the support for us, but to see a community come together like that,” he said.
For now, 3-year-old Gabe is doing well. His latest surgery – a third open-heart surgery, done in May – went relatively well, reducing the stress on his heart and correcting one of the many structural defects.
And for the Boylens, their family has grown in ways both beautiful – and unexpected.
Starting a family
Ryan, an architecture and engineering teacher at Union Grove Union High School and the head softball coach, and Sarah – an account executive at May’s Insurance in Burlington – both knew they wanted children.
Fertility issues left the couple childless through 2011. Even then, Sarah explained that the couple was hoping to exhaust options, “financially and medically.”
But Ryan’s sister approached the couple because a high-school-aged neighbor was pregnant.
“When the situation came up, we decided we would pursue (it),” Sarah said.
A few months into the process, everyone found out that the unborn child had birth defects, what Ryan called “a laundry list of issues with the heart.”
Among other defects, both the aorta and pulmonary artery connect to the right ventricle in Gabe’s heart, and the heart isn’t in the proper position.
Gabe was also born without a spleen, which leaves him at a higher risk for infection.
Since birth, Gabe has gone through five surgeries, including the three open-heart procedures. He’s on preventative antibiotics, and Sarah says there is a strict protocol in place should Gabe develop a fever of more than 100.5 degrees.
And yet…
“He’s doing awesome right now,” said Ryan.
Sarah added, “I’d say he’s thriving.”
The latest surgery also ended up with Gabe getting a pacemaker because his heart wasn’t beating properly after the surgery. However, doctors have told the couple his heart is currently beating about 99.98 percent of the time without the help of the pacemaker.
“He may not ever need the pacemaker again, or he would go a year or two (and then need it),” said Sarah. “We wouldn’t necessarily know the pacemaker is on again, except for when we go in for one of our checks.”
What the future holds
And yet, no one knows what the future holds for the toddler.
“I think we both know and understand that when Gabe gets to be 18, or when he comes off of our insurance, it’s going to be a tough road for him,” said Sarah, knowledgeable about the complexities of health and life insurance because of her job.
“His future and long-term outcome is so uncertain,” she added. “We just want to set him up for the best future he can have.”
Hence the participation in the “Tee It Up for Ty” event. With a beautiful day of weather, both Gabe and his brother – 1-year-old Andrew, whom Ryan and Sarah conceived after the adoption – were out and about on the course and at the clubhouse Saturday.
Both were wearing the bright orange t-shirts designed for the event, and all the family members seemed to be enjoying themselves (perhaps unsurprisingly, Drew didn’t care for the golf cart).
The two, Sarah explained, are “a joy.”
“Gabe is an excellent big brother,” she said. And with Drew on the verge of walking, “he wants to do everything just like his big brother.
“That doesn’t always make big brother happy,” Sarah added.
“But both have been very, very easy-going, even with all the hardships we endured with Gabe early on,” Sarah pointed out. “Both are just very happy-go-lucky.
“Gabe couldn’t be any more ours than if I’d carried him for the amount of time I carried Drew,” she added.
With everything the family has been through, Ryan pointed out that Saturday’s fundraiser offered a new insight on the good that humanity can offer.
“It brings back a sense of hope that we still do support each other,” he said.
As for Gabe? Well, a short conversation within his earshot about his age Saturday provided a little bit of insight of just how normal a 3-year-old he is.
When he heard someone say he was 3, his head whipped around.
“I’m 3 – and a HALF!” he pointed out emphatically.
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