2012 champion lie relies on an old standby with a modern twist
By Ed Nadolski
Editor in Chief
Ditzy secretaries have long been fodder for jokes so it’s no surprise this year’s World Champion Liar found a winning combination by relying on that tried-and-true formula with a bit of a modern twist:
“A boss told his secretary that the fax machine in one of the company’s branches was out of paper, so she faxed some blank sheets to that fax machine to restock it.”
That tall tale, submitted by Rick Schaaf of Devils Lake, N.D., took top honors in the Burlington Liar’s Club 2012 contest.
Schaaf, who could not be reached for comment, was one of about 350 entrants in this year’s contest, according to Ed Impens, one of three local men who maintain the tradition that has awarded the “champion liar” label since 1929.
This year the club members awarded four places. Two of them stuck to topical subjects by focusing on the drought of 2012.
They are:
Second place, submitted by Gene C. Lasch of Shawano – “It was sooooooooooo dry this past summer, a Piss Elm tree was following a dog around.”
Third place, submitted by Ed Zillmer of Phoenix, Ariz. – “I have been out of work so long, that I think that my cat is jealous of my life.”
Fourth place, submitted by Ed Gillmore of Bristol – “Because of the severe drought of 2012, when the first freeze came, all the lakes and ponds had dry ice in them.”
Impens, who said his top pick ended up in second place this year (he was out-voted by fellow club members Dennis Tully and Joel Weiss), usually fields telephone calls from media around the country and sometimes the world after the club announces the winner at the end of the year.
This year things have been relatively quiet.
“You’re the third call,” Impens told the Standard Press.
Two years ago a firestorm of coverage erupted when some in the media accused the 2010 winner of plagiarizing his entry.
The local club members took the criticism in stride and added to the quant history of the contest by noting that – although they weren’t aware the lie wasn’t original – anything can happen in a competition among liars.
Those who want to learn more about the history of the contest or submit and entry can visit the club’s website at www.burlingtonliarsclub.com. Letters may be mailed to: Burlington Liars’ Club, PO Box 156, Burlington, WI 53105.
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